Updated: May 13, 2020
Are you suddenly feeling like you no longer know your spouse? Or the fun times you used to enjoy together is no longer fun at all? If you answered no to this question, then good for you. And you are probably newlyweds lol! But if you answered yes, then don’t feel bad. Because this is where most married couples land at some point and time in there relationship. It’s called phasing. Well, that's what I call it anyway.
Over the past 20 years of our relationship, my husband and I have definitely had our share of ups and downs. Pretty much an emotional roller coaster. And during some of those times, I even felt like I didn't know who my husband was. We were no longer laughing. Instead we were arguing. Smiles became frowns and the sweat from love making became tears of my heart breaking. As I mentioned in my previous post “Are You Still Dating After Marriage?” my husband and I became strangers to one another.
The one place that I enjoyed the most was now the place I despised the most. And how could that be? We we were living the “American Dream!” We had the ideal mate, nice house, fancy car, our own business and the best child ever. So what could cause this great divide? I will tell you. My husband and I stop making each other a priority. Everything and everyone else became more importan. For my husband, he opted to put more TIME and dedication into his career and I chose to put more TIME and energy into helping relatives. So, throughout the chaos, we both neglected what needed us the most. Each other! Therefore, creating a great divide that we never expected to find ourselves facing. But because we both were deeply devoted to our marriage and the family that we created with our daughters, we had to dig deep and figure it out. No matter how uncomfortable the conversations got, or how painful it was to hear the truth. We let it all out. And the more we told our truth, the more healing we received. After a while, I noticed I was smiling more. And my husband became more attentive to my needs and vice versa. We had once again found our happy place. Which is within each other. No longer strangers. Just life long partners and best friends.
So ladies and gentlemen. If you ever find yourself in unfamiliar territory with your mate, don’t ever be afraid to ask why or how did we get here? It’s a great starting point to guide you in the right direction of a resolution. And yes you can find your way back to each other. It’s called love. And true love always find its way back.❤️